Wondering What's Wrong With Everyone

I just want someone to hold me and assure me things are going to be ok even though I feel like they aren't. I'm tired of not being well, of no one caring or responding, of everyone making light of my pain and my fears. My body has turned against me and I feel like no one can help and all is hopeless. I'm scared to go to the dr. I'm scared something is desperately wrong. I'm scared of dying. I'm scared of the thought of my kids not having me. I'm scared of it being something bad and having to comfort my mother when i'd be the one needing comfort. I am alone.

I am also tired of worrying,caring about, doing things for, etc, people who couldn't care less back. When did everyone get so selfish? I'm tired of friends who can accuse the world of being shitty to them but have no problem turning around doing it right back to their "friends". I'm sick of people who are so selfish they need you when it's convenient for them but won't even make a slight effort to be there for you. I'm tired of asking someone how they are, cuz, guess what?i actually give a fuck, and being ignored. I'm tired of people saying they'll do something for you and then they don't. Don't volunteer to do something if your word means nothing! Is anyone reliable anymore?

Don't anyone bother responding, i know no one's there.

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