I was going to see him or her on the ultrasound and know they were ok
I got up on that table, excited to see my baby
and then I had the wind knocked out of me with the words,
"there is no heartbeat, and no movement"
2 years ago I smoked a cigarette with a friend who came over just to give me a hug
I watched "man on fire" with my husband and knew I'd never want to watch it again
I cried and cried, wondering if it hurt my baby when their heart stopped
I wondered why
2 years ago I never thought I would be able to get past the pain
and I certainly never thought I would have the strength to do it all over again
I thought, this has happened to other people more than once, I don't know how they can do it
2 years ago we said goodbye
way too soon, no one wanted to
2 years ago we found out our baby died
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