I'm on a computer all day at work, so, honestly, I haven't wanted to blog AT ALL. And I kind of don't now but I happened to be on here and it's been a loooooooong time, so here's a quick update in bullet points. I'm hoping this will give me a jumping off point to get in depth later!
*work is still... yeah... I dunno. Still learning, still struggling a bit, still hoping I'll get better, still not thrilled with the hours. Trying harder and gradually improving, but not where I thought I'd be 6 months in... workin' on it!
*wanting a baby status: over it.
*sad about Taylor and Tristan: getting much better. Less bitter. Easier to cry when I think of them but strangely that's helpful. Not like I bawl daily, just actually letting myself feel when the it comes up.
*other babies: easier. Still not always that easy. More "wow what a cute baby" moments and less "I hate you for having a baby" moments. Still removing people from my facebook news feed THE first time I see the "having a baby" posts. Actually caring about them and checking up on them on my time/terms.
*black belt: earned.
*marriage: work in progress. I don't touch on it much here and I don't want to air other's issues, but I'll say there have been a lot of struggles in the last year or so. I'm learning a lot about myself and how to be a better person through it, though, and I think that's important and worth mentioning.
*friends: miss them! no time. burning out kinda fast with everything. NEED MORE TIME WITH FRIENDS
*life: need a better balance/to prioritize.
*church: zoning out a bit. definitely need to improve my relationship with God!
*health: meh. gaining weight, hate that! chronic pain not AS bad. gland stuff, icky and not very good. Jaw tense and awful. upper back full o' knots.
*pets: Taryn's 3 frogs all died, but... we got a little doggie!!! She's a 4 year old shih Tzu named Coco and I loooooove her!
*Trent: outgrew me!
*survived: 3 year anniversary of saying bye to Taylor (8/13/10).
*revelation: losing a grandchild is hard for grandparents. watching their kids want kids is hard for parents. my m.i.l. is awesome and strong and also probably really struggling watching us lose kids and another one long for them!
*looking forward to: going to Glenwood Springs with Ryan to celebrate our anniversary this weekend. Hot springs and delicious food, here I come!
