I don't understand when, why, or how it became ok to not live but simply survive. Or why who we are has changed to what we do. I don't want to be defined by my job, how often I work, how much money I make or have or by the things I own. I am tired, frustrated, and scared by the fact that when I do what is truly important is revolved around when I work, and often it is diminished in some way because I am too stressed or tired to give it the attention I wish I could. I am angry that priorities-seeing friends, enjoying my kids, writing, taking care of myself and my home, building and developing relationships I care about, take a backseat to a job that isn't fulfilling mentally, physically, or financially. I feel like a failure because the things I care about most-PEOPLE, have suffered because I simply can't stretch myself that thin. The line between caring too much and not at all has been completely blurred because I am tired and scared so I am caught between wanting to try as many times as it may take to make things right and wanting to say I give up,i can't do any of this anymore. My resolution? Pray and think on it and hope with all my heart that God will direct me to a healthier path. And to anyone I've let down through simple laziness, I am really, sincerely sorry.
I feel exactly the same way.
ReplyDeleteYou're not alone. At all.
I miss you.
Sorry to not have seen you when I was in Colorado. I will be back in May and would love to see you then.
Love you.