The closer it gets to my due date (2 weeks yesterday til the big day), the more I am not sure if I'm going to be able to handle that day. First of all, I can't believe it has already gone by so fast! I go back to all those hopes and dreams of last summer when I first found out, and it is unbelievable to me that here I am now, and all those things I thought would happen, haven't. I haven't told people at work that I'm expecting, we haven't excitedly anticipated the big day, we don't have a nursery, I haven't kept going walking with a big belly to show off and I didn't get attention from the old people at the mall about it. I have started karate, and even sometimes it makes me mad that I am there and not sitting, uncomfortably, on the bleachers with my big tummy giving me problems.
I also am starting to think more and more of what I am not going to have; just when I got to the point where I think I am starting to move beyond "what should have been" and "it's not fair," it hits me more and more that I should be welcoming a new baby VERY soon, and I'm not going to be. I think it makes me very mad. And very sad.
Dear God,
ReplyDeletePlease be with Alex as she goes thur these next couple weeks. Walk with her and hold her hand. Remind her that you are with her and that she is loved. Give her the strength that she needs to hold together her broken heart. Please send loving people into her life to be of support to her in her time of need.
Amen
Hey Sweetie! I love you! If you need me, I am here! Would you like to DO something on that day?? Im all yours if youd like. =-) I am sure these next couple weeks are going to be very dificult, I can only hope that the pain becomes a bit more tolerable...as I know this is not a pain that just goes away. However I do know that you are a very strong woman with a huge heart! You feel pain because you have a heart (which is more than we can say for some). Having a heart is not always apreciated, especially when that heart is broken in two! Its ok to be human, I love you all the more because of it. I know there's nothing I can say that will take away your pain. However you will be in my prayers and my thoughts. And I really am down to hang if youd like to. Anytime! =-) I hope my support is worth somethin'. *hug*
ReplyDelete~J~