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08 September 2011

Health Vent

I know I've said a million times that I don't feel good.  I really am tired of people brushing it off, though.  Because here's the thing: up until last October, I could be on the verge of death and insist I'm not sick.  I don't call in, I don't complain, I don't usually feel the need to go to the doctor.  Now,   DAILY, I wake up in pain.  Not little aches and pains but literally can't roll over in bed.  Can't stand up straight from sitting down for more than ten minutes.  Can't flex my foot up without pain shooting all the way up my leg.  Can't drive without getting pain in my ribs.  Can't put on socks without a struggle.  Can't sit or lay on the couch for a few minutes without my hands or feet falling asleep.  Can't work out or stand up without getting dizzy.  Exhaustion to the point where I have days that I go back to bed after getting the kids to school and almost can't get up to pick them up when school lets out.  Can't do 1 push up right because my low back hurts too much to support my body and my chest hurts too much to actually do the move.  Brain fog where someone asks for something at work and I literally forget 2 seconds later (those of you who know me well know that I used to never write anything down at work)- now I get so confused I can't stay focused for more than a minute or two.  "You don't look sick," people say.  Yeah, that only makes it ten times harder to explain that something is seriously wrong with me and all I have to show for it is massive amounts of pain, looking like a complainer, and feeling like I'm crazy.  Awesome.  "Go to the doctor" people say.  Yeah, like the 3 last year who told me what was wrong is "normal" and sent me on my way... while 10 or so months later those "normal" things are still going on- in addition to more and more problems?  I don't know what to do to get through to people anymore, including (and especially) doctors!

4 comments:

  1. That totally sucks, Alex. You're too young to have to go through stuff like this, especially on a daily basis!

    - Lynn

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  2. I am very sorry that you feel this way. I understand daily pain, however when it eats into your life like it has, its just not ok. I really wish we could find you somebody that knew exactly what was wrong and how you can fix/or even just minimize your pain. I know that going to a doctor just doesnt sound apealing, for many reasons. However I do think that now that you have a much better idea or whats going on, your symptoms and what you think it COULD be. You need to find the right place to go, walk in and say "I need help, this is whats going on, and I believe it could be this. Please help me." You have to be presistant. I love you girl and I want you to feel better. It absolutely breaks my heart to know how you are feeling, I DO know you and know that the way you have been feeling is NOT normal and something IS up. Please let me know what I can ever do to help you. And know that I am here and care for you and always willing to chat. (((hug)))

    ~J~

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  3. Have you thought about MS as a possibility? Just thinking aloud here.

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