Last Friday was friday the 13th. It was a good ish day. Very unlike a friday the 13th not long ago. The one where it was my turn to learn what losing a child feels like. Whenever I see a pregnant lady looking happy, I think about me that day. I went out to lunch before my appointment and I just wanted to shout to the world, "I'm going to have a baby." I felt like I was just beaming, brimming with excitement. The ultrasound that day was beyond shocking. I don't know if i'll ever look back on that day and be able to fully connect to the incident. I feel like it was someone else lying on that table, someone else who didn't see her babys heartbeat. Friday the 13th always brings back these memories. But, as they're almost all I have of my baby, I cherish the memories, both good and bad.
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