It is very frustrating not having answers about Taylor. I hate to be a whiner, but IT'S NOT FAIR. There is so much about this experience that leads me to that conclusion, so it is hard not to say it sometimes. Overall, the treatment of miscarriages is so ridiculous, I can NOT believe it. This has been a really crappy learning experience! I feel so bad for people who have been through this, especially more than once. It makes me feel terrible that so many people have gotten the treatment I have: the brush-off's, the not taking it seriously, or acting as if it is not the loss of a child, the b.s. explanations: "it's probably a genetic or chromosomal problem." Not knowing much of anything has really been the hardest part. Especially after looking into miscarriage as much I could and finding out that slightly over half of tested miscarried babies have a chromosomal or genetic problem. That means that many miscarriages end just.... because. Was something wrong with my baby? It is not a comforting thought AT ALL to have that be the explanation. But is it worse to think that Taylor was fine, that there really is no good reason that he or she is gone? Another thing that really bothers me, and I hate to even go here, is that medical practitioners do not tell you (or, at least, they didn't tell me) that you can save the tissue, and, ultimately, the fetus, and at least bury it or something. Actually passing everything was mindblowingly agonizing, everytime something came out I wondered, was that the baby? I wish I could go back and maybe have a D & C, testing may not have been possible but at least I could have buried my baby or at least know where the baby went. It is ridiculous that mothers who miscarry bleed their babies into a toilet and no one thinks to tell them they don't have to.
I wish more people in the medical profession had more compassion and treated their patients like people.
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